


Atonement

by Nicnac



Series: More Than Saying Sorry [4]
Category: Smallville
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-05
Updated: 2012-06-05
Packaged: 2017-11-06 21:59:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/423725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicnac/pseuds/Nicnac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The road to redemption is littered with broken glass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Atonement

He had known when he took Clark’s outstretched hand that this wasn’t going to be easy, had known that forgiveness and friendship did not equate trust. He didn’t have a lot of experience with the concept himself, but he’d seen enough TV and movies, read enough books, to know that trust is something that has to be earned, and that once broken it isn’t quickly mended. So, as much as it infuriated him, he had accepted an initial lack of trust as a necessary evil. Lex knew a lot about necessary evils, after all.

But he hadn’t known it would be like this. He thought that he had experienced friendship with Clark without trust years ago, back when the boy had been full of lies and secrets. He was wrong. The pain of being denied the truth paled in comparison to what he faced now. Clark full of gentle encouragement trying to help Lex “be a better man” and then turning around and watching, waiting, for the backslide.

Some mornings Lex would wake up and the dread would hit him like a Porsche flying of the side of a bridge, so hard he couldn’t breathe. Getting up every day and trying so hard to get so little hurt so damn much that he wasn’t even sure it was worth it. The numb hollow beneath his breastbone had never made him feel so bad.

On those mornings he’d close his eyes again, take in a few deep calming breaths and picture Clark’s smile, friendly and warm and open and caring and _perfect_. It was worth it, he’d remind himself, because the numb hollow beneath his breastbone never made him feel so good either. 


End file.
